Getting to Yes

In recent months, I have found myself in conversations with business leaders about getting to Yes.  There seems to be an increased number of people regardless of industry that are in discussions that include no, no thank you, not right now, or maybe in a few weeks/months.

Often, it is not related to a sale but rather collaborating on an idea or initiative that will be win-win for both parties. Based on the number of no’s we hear in a day week or month, we begin to forget a fundamental concept…we forget to ask!

Sometimes when we ask for help or share an idea we will most often hear YES.  It is a great connector!

Hearing yes, fuels our creativity and provides the encouragement to think outside the box. I believe, when we hear yes it actually engages the happiness hormones that creates positive energy and just plain makes us feel good.

There are four hormones that contribute to happiness or fulfillment and they are: dopamin, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. All of these are naturally created in the body and are engaged when we feel happy, satisfied, and appreciated. They work in tandem with one another and are obviously created when we exercise, eat healthy and I believe hear yes.

As a graduate from Harvard Law School Negotiation Institute, I remember a similar conversation with colleagues and reading an article on the power of getting to yes, especially when negotiating.

After all, isn’t almost every conversation we have part of that process?

Here are a few suggestions found in a recent article in the Harvard Business Review when looking for yes:

  1. Separate the people from the problem
  2. Focus on interests, not positions
  3. Learn to manage emotions
  4. Express appreciation
  5. Put a positive spin on your message
  6. Escape the cycle of action and reaction

I will take this advice one step further and suggest that we end a conversation that will ultimately include yes so that we leave a connection on a positive note that will leave the door open for the future.

After all, isn’t that why we connected with someone in the first place?

We are all interested in collaborating and getting to “yes.”


Reference Article:
Six Guidelines for Getting to Yes
by Katie Shonk – HBR July 17, 2018

“Be the person who starts a ripple that creates a wave of change”

Trish Tonaj is an author,  artist and speaker – sharing stories to inspire great ideas.
She has written two books: Diary of Change 12 Personal Tools and Breaking Barriers, 10 Entrepreneurial Women Share Their Stories.

Trish is the founder and blog host for and invites you to share your story!
With a love of writing she is a regular contributor to Thrive Global.

Visit Trish @ a division of Phaze2inc.
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